Tuesday, July 15, 2008

It Ain't Ivory Snow.

My most favorite lip balm in the world is by Bonne Bell...it's Dr. Pepper flavored and it's jumbo-sized. I love it. Very much. And I'm unable to find it in my little neck of the woods. There are scads and scads of the regular-sized ones...you know, those that come in a Chap-Stik tube? No, I want the mega one, please. Alas, it's not to be found.

Off I go to search the wonderful invention known as the World Wide Web. "Big ol' Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker," please. Again, scads and scads of the regular tubes come up in my search results, but not a big one in the bunch. What's a girl to do?

Now I'm rationing what little I have left of my token large tube of Dr. Pepper lip balmy goodness. When it's gone I'm certain the wailing that issues forth from my person will be heard worldwide. I'm not kidding, y'all.

Not long ago Carrie mentioned one of her favorite products from that fabulous era known as the 70's...that lathery luxury known as "Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!" shampoo. Make fun of the disco years if you must, but that decade contained some really innovative merchandise for its time. While searching for my coveted Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker (the BIG one!) I thought of yet another product I discovered and loved as a child in the late 70's/early 80's. Anyone remember Love's Baby Soft?

Off I go on another internet search, wanting to relive Christmas of 1982, when I was 8 years old and my precious Memaw gifted me with a full set of Love's Baby Soft products, including the cologne, body lotion and--swoon!--dusting powder! I liberally doused every inch of my then-little body with this "soft" scent until the bottles were emtpy...about 3 weeks later. Yeah, I smelled fabulous...and you could also predict my arrival at 50 paces.

The above ad is from the 70's...I'm not certain of the exact year, but HELLO! Are y'all sharing my incredulity? Utter unbelief? Oh, it is shades of Miley in Vanity Fair. And here we all thought Miss Cyrus was a scandalous hussy. Little did I know the way had been paved almost thirty years prior to Annie Leibovitz's talent behind the lens.

Yes, you lesiure suit-wearing, thick moustache-sporting, Pabst Blue Ribbon-drinking advertising execs, "innocence is sexier than you think." But a perfectly coiffed, pouting 10 year old child holding a fluffy teddy bear? With those come hither eyes? Are you kidding me?

Love's Baby Soft will never smell the same for me. Because now it will only represent pedophilia . Yeah, I said that. Pedophilia. Oh, it makes me wanna set something on fire. Darn debauchery.

Let's discuss this amongst ourselves, shall we? Not pedophilia, of course, but the number of things wrong with this ad. And if any of y'all can identify this Brooke Shields-wannabe, please do so...she certainly looks familiar but I just can't place her.

Oh yeesh...look at where my love for gargantuan-sized Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers has taken me. This is my world...I just live in it. And apparently I'll be living in it without a supersized version of the world's greatest lip balm.

Sigh...


38 comments:

stefanie said...

Wow, I remember those products, but I certainly did not see the advertisements the way I do now. I was reminded recently of the Nair commercials with the girls on the stairs singing "We wear short shorts..." and yes, I can sing the whole thing. Still. And yes, though I saw nothing wrong with it as a preteen, I am sure that I wouldn't like it now. I have teenage daughters and one of the things that amazes me is that young girls are so unaware of what the images (or their own clothes) tell guys. That's why girls will say "It's soooo cute!" and guys will say "It's soooo hot!" about the exact same thing.

Have you walked past Delia's lately? I did this past weekend, and was confronted with a very large photo of a very sweet young girl's cleavage. I mean her face was there too, but I didn't see that first. And I'm not sure I ever even saw the clothes she was wearing, so as to sell clothes in Delia's.

OH, sorry so long. This is something I've been thinking about lately and you filled in an important aspect of it all for me. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

That ad is seriously creepy. Innocence is sexy?!? With a fluffy white Teddy Bear? I'm with you on this, Lula. Some ad exec at Love's Baby Soft was nasty.

I loved Baby Soft! I also remember wearing Navy and Exclamation! (Stinky stuff.)

Caroline said...

That ad is just wrong on many levels. I do remember LBS, but can't place how or when I used it. In 1982, I would have been five, and maybe not as interested in masking body odor as I was in my "I Can Read Books."

ugagirl30 said...

Don't know how much you are willing to pay for it, but check out this item on *bay: 250270252832. It is for four jumbos. Just trying to hook a sista up!

Anonymous said...

Creep.y.

So the sexualization of our daughters obviously didn't start with the Princesses. Maybe it's Barbie's fault. She was already around when this ad was published...

I never wore this. I'm with Jaci and the Navy and Exclamation. Oh, and I had some Guess. I thought I was it.

Heather said...

Funny how you look at things differently when you are the parent. What were our parents doing back then? Obviously not paying attention to the ads...

Unknown said...

UGH! I'm so tired of sex selling, but it's never going to stop I guess.

I don't WANT my daughters to be sexy for at least 20 years.

Mama Dawg said...

I haven't read this post yet because I wanted to give you a present.

Here:

http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/07/80s-music-video-of-day.html

You will LOVE this!

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, wow. I had forgotten about that stuff. Look at that ad. Shades of Jon Benet, anyone?

Scary.

scargosun said...

I bet that kid is like 18 and made to look like a child...that migth be creepier.

Insane Mama said...

I love the mega tube of Dr. Pepper lip gloss...YES I do! This ad is... a bit much, this CHILD is screaming sex. WTF? I doubt she is 18, she looks like she is 14

TentCamper said...

I agree with Stefanie -

Teen girls ad what they wea kills me. They wear these tight little skimpy things that they are so proud the look cute in, bu I look at them...well actually...I kind of look away an just tap Insane Mama on the shoulder. It looks like outfits that hookersand stripers wear.

Swirl Girl said...

I don't who remember who coined the phrase 'totstitutes' on these blog pages...but I think it is a fitting phrase for this phenomena.

Oh- and if you are wondering what happened to all your Dr. Pepper lip balm, the girl in the ad is wearing it! Could her lips be any plumper?

I remember the 70's, despite me efforts to erase all remnants of the era from my memory. Ick.

sanctuaryseeker said...

They are called prostitots. What a sad commentary on even those times.

Melissa said...

When I saw this pic at the top or your page, I thought, what has she discovered now? Mercy, it's sad!
Well, I never had the Dr. Pepper lip balm, just that roll-on lip gloss that came in the glass tube...remember that stuff. It has the most incredible smell. I know every guy was just dying to kiss me when I wore it! I would put on a double coat when I was singing in my mirror at home to Billy Joel :)

CaraBee said...

I am totally with you on the Dr. Pepper lip balm. Anything Dr. Pepper flavored is alright with me! And since I, too, was 8 in 1982, I also had the Love's Baby Soft. I felt sooo sophisticated.

As to the picture, it certainly is a bit creepy given the way we think of things today, but things were very different then. If you ever watch Mad Men, you see how misogynistic society was. That sort of thing would never fly now, but back then, well, I dare say it was not so out of the ordinary. I mean, who blinked an eye at Brooke Sheilds' Calvin Klein ads? And she was 14 for crying out loud!

Unknown said...

I want to grab whoever thought up that ad, slap 'em upside the head and say, in my best Dr Phil impression 'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??'

Don't recall 'Love's Baby Soft'. Don't think that ever made it over to little ol' NZ.

I do remember being really excited when I was given a gift set of Bronnley's Lily Of The Valley. I loved that stuff .. it smelt soooo good.

My new BFF as far as lip balm goes, is C.O. Bigelow's 'Lemon Lip Cream Ultra Moisturizing Formula' . I love that stuff and it tastes good too ... all lemony!

Precision Quality Laser said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Teri said...

It's funny, when I was younger I didn't catch the creepiness of that ad. Now, with a teenage daughter of my own (who is WAY older than that kid), I freak out with all the trashy things that are marketed with her in mind.

Gina said...

Oh. Lula.
I was just at the beach with some of my girls and the discussion turned to words on butts of pants that little girls wear.
"Oh, I think it is cute" was the response. Not wanting to start an argument at my friend's going away party, I just said, "Yeah, now."
Lets not let them think it is OK for men to be looking at thier butts. Not now, not never.

Gina said...

I'll skip the lip balm and go straight for the Dr. Pepper Jelly Bellys!

Kelley said...

There is just something very wrong with this ad. Oh my! And why is it that I didn't notice it then? I loved "Love's Baby Soft" but now, looking back, this is oh-so-weird.

Unknown said...

I was a little older than you when Love's Baby Soft was introduced, but I still loved it! I also remember "Charlie" and thought I was so sexy when I wore that! Wow! Sexy at 15, yeah right!

Unknown said...

Hey cutie - stop by my blog - there's a little something there for ya.

Sissy said...

I think I wore Love's Baby Soft for a while, but I am creeped out by that pic too! I am not much of a perfume wearer anymore....I get a headache from most of them.

Debbie said...

Yet again, this is why we are BFF's. I LOVED LOVED LOVED Bonne Bell Lip SR PEPPER LIP Smackers all through high school!! I kid you not. I haven't seen it since, but now I am on a mission to find you the ginormous one. Oh yes, I will find it for ya. And let me just say, besides wearing CHARLIE, yeah remember that one, I wore Love's Baby Soft FOREVER...you were 8...well I was a teen wearing that...LOVE IT...and as for that ad....ugh...

Heather said...

Yeah. That's me. I'm the girl in the ad. I remember the shoot like it was yesterday. We were just down the street from Studio 54 and had big plans to go down there when we were done. We were going to meet up with the Bee Gee's (dirty old men).

I was the Love's Baby Soft Girl...of COURSE I got past the velvet rope.

Good times. Precious memories.

Anonymous said...

Not sure about that ad-???? Was it in TEEN BEAT or TIGER BEAT? I do remember it though- I liked Gee your hair smells terrific- But I thought I was really cool because I had some FLEX shampoo and conditioner!
Email me if you want two frames-at Zemkoofies@gmail.com Tell me what you have in mind!

Unknown said...

If I come across some I will besure to let you know, smiles... Susie h~

Karin @ 6ByHisDesign said...

oh.my.goodness.
Yeah, I don't really know what to say about that nasty ad.
But i sure did like the Love's baby Soft back in the day.
Man-OH when did I get old?!

And just for a plug for your ingenuity --- tried the baby powder to get sand off the kids' feet today - MiR.A.Cle!!!
Thanks for that tip!

Lex the mom said...

That is an extremely twisted ad...completely disgusting to me. Good thing I never really cared for the stuff anyhow.

The Dr. Pepper lipsmackers on the other hand - oh my - gotta get me some!

angela | the painted house said...

Incredibly disturbing...as if the photo isn't deplorable enough they had to add "innocence is sexier than you think." Absolutely disgusting.

Tiffany said...

UGH. So disturbing. I too love the lip smacker. big time.

Lula! said...

Thankity-thank-thanks for the video link, Mama Dawg. I needed that today! But I think it cost more than $36 to make...it's all of $50 AT LEAST!

Unknown said...

my friend alicia had access to love's baby soft, and her mom sprayed it on all her cabbage patch dolls while they peacefully slept in a ruffled bassinet. no tellin what i smelled like, but i'm pretty sure it wasn't baby soft. i was all time showin up with ripped jeans and throwin up in her living room or her car. man, i was cool.

Rhea said...

Dr Pepper flavored lip balm? NO WAY! I'm all over that now...

ugagirl30 said...

Did you see the jumbo Dr. Pepper's I told you about? I went back later and saw that the same seller had the single ones to for about $5.

Heather W said...

Wow! What was considered appropriate back then and what's appropriate now has definately changed. Crazy isn't it? I also loved the flavored extra large lip balms. The only problem was that I would apply and then lick off then apply then lick off. I think I chapped my lips more that way.