Tuesday, July 8, 2008

An Open Letter to EW.

Dear Entertainment Weekly,

Thanks for fulfilling your title, as you have certainly been entertaining reading. I've been a satisfied suscriber for quite some time now. Each week I look forward to finding a new issue in my mailbox, faithfully setting aside quality reading time for you and your sister publication, People. It was with great pleasure that I found, upon returning from my beach vacation, your "New Classics" edition, which featured 1000 of the best movies, TV shows, books, albums, and more of the last 25 years. Be still my beating heart! I could hardly wait to peruse your pages to see if my favorites matched yours. For starters, you had one Buffy Summers pictured on the cover...so far, so good! I dove right into the issue, beginning with your silver screen picks.

Number two on the list of the new classic movies was none other than my beloved Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Spot on, EW!
lord of the rings final
Other favorites of mine making the movie list included When Harry Met Sally, The Breakfast Club, The Sixth Sense, Pretty Woman and Clueless. But where, might I ask, was The Goonies? Steel Magnolias? I'm just sayin'.

Moving on to the top 100 new classics in the world of television, I found myself squealing out loud upon discovering your number eight pick: Lost, described within your pages as, "one of TV's most tantalizing, labyrinthine, frustrating, and imaginative dramas." Darn right it is!
Sawyer
Sawyer...swoon! He is altogether delicious. Just so you know.

I wholeheartedly agree with Lost's presence in your Top 10. I also agree with Sex and the City being number five, The Cosby Show at number seven, and Friends at number nine. But here's where I broke out my happy dance:
Spike and Buffy
Buffy The Vampire Slayer, as the number ten choice!!! Yeah, y'all so got this one right. And your tribute? "Few would have guessed that such a toothless, one-joke movie would inspire such a brilliant, layered series. By turns scary, romantic, funny, and heart-breaking, Buffy proves that a show about teens need not alienate older viewers." Yes, EW...you are most definitely correct. Let's not forget Spike is my most favorite vampire ever. (Those trim, hard-bodied, pale, Goth-rockers get me Every. Time.)

Shout-outs were also given to a few of my other all-time favorite series: Star Trek: The Next Generation (we nerds are onto something good!) ranked number 24, CSI came in at number 35, and the fabulous hour that was Moonlighting found itself at 54. Also, my newfound love, Battlestar Galactica (go 'head Sci-Fi nerds...get your glory on!) was given placement at number 59 and my all-time favorite comedy, Designing Women, barely made the list at 95. (This is a travesty to me, but I won't dwell on it.) Thanks, EW, for reconfirming my stellar tastes in television. To say I feel validated is putting it mildly.  (But where was Doctor Who?  No mention of it at all?  Lame, EW.  Is it because Who isn't a "New Classic," given that it's been around since the 60's?  That better be the explanation.)

Now we turn to the world of music, and it's no surprise that I didn't agree with over half of your top 100 picks. Contemporary Christian artists were completely ignored (no shocker there--one day the world will discover the genius of Watermark, dc Talk, Rita Springer, and Chris Rice), as were albums by more of my personal faves, Alison Krauss and Union Station, the Indigo Girls, Harry Connick, Jr., Lenny Kravitz, and Garbage. I dig me some Prince, but no way should Purple Rain be the number 1 new classic. Come on, EW..."Darling Nicky?" Are you kidding me?

Happily I found albums by U2 listed more than once (Achtung Baby at number 3, Joshua Tree at 63--don't even get me started), and my man Paul Simon's Graceland was rated number 8! Props to y'all for recognizing De La Soul's 3 Feet High and Rising (number 22), Life's Rich Pageant by R.E.M. at number 32, and Coldplay's melodic "A Rush of Blood to the Head," at 49. And then there's The Cure's Disintegration being revealed in the number 14 position. Yes, yes, yes--this album guided me through the murky waters of adolescence...I still carry its torch.
'The

But...
Why, oh why was Jeff Buckley's magnificant Grace far down the ladder on the number 82 rung? So, by Peter Gabriel only impressed y'all enough to reach number 88? Oh, but no! I must protest! This is me. Protesting. Yep.

My initial happiness, fueled by your choices in movies and television, began to wane upon going through the list of musical acts. Honestly, though, I wasn't terribly surprised, as media darlings such as Notorius B.I.G. (may he rest in peace), Beyonce, Mariah Carey, and Beck all had high-ranking albums. I expect this from you industry types who continually heap praise on whomever y'all think we listeners need to be digging at any particular time. Everyone's a critic and I'm no exception. It's just that I think I'm right and you're wrong. I say this lovingly, EW...I'm not ready to break up. Yet.

I continued reading, turning to the section featuring the 100 books deemed New Classics. And there I stopped cold...dead in my tracks...unable to read, much less take a deep breath. Fire burned behind my eyes and I know my heart stopped just a moment. I'm not exaggerating y'all. ('Cause really--I never exaggerate. Never.) Entertainment Weekly, you've got some serious explaining to do...
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My ire continues tomorrow...come back for the rest of my open letter to Entertainment Weekly. It gets a bit ugly, as a word of warning. A southern belle's wrath? Yeah, it's real.

*Heather and Kelly, have you made it this far? Sorry--this happens to be a long one, girls!

21 comments:

ugagirl30 said...

Those shows you were talking about sounds like GT, not UGA. What? I'm just sayin'.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

What? Friends by MWS wasn't the number 1 song of all time? I'm SHOCKED.

Was Space Camp on the list?

Insane Mama said...

Sawyer???!!
Sawyer...
Sawyer, I miss you I want you, you tantalizing hot gorgeous husband of mine.

Mama Dawg said...

You're sh***ing me! NO Goonies? What is WRONG with them?

I LOVE the Goonies. My daughter has discovered the wonderfulness that is Sean Astin as Mikey.

One-Eyed Willie RULES!!!

Christine said...

ok, was right there with you on the shock. (BTW- along with Buffy - you can't forget the Angel spinoff. Although a bit cheesier, still right up there!). As for the music, if someone feels that Joshua Tree is #63 and So is #88 then they have obviously lost all of their minds and must be paid big bucks to promote the newer artists of the world.

Whatev!

-Bridget said...

I love the movie choices.

Hooray for Buffy! I think Battlestar Galactica should have been WAY higher on the list. I think that is THE best show on television. :p

I agree, their music choices kinda stunk it up.

Swirl Girl said...

you are are sci-fi nerd, huh?

it's okay to admit it.. Put on your Spock ears and shout out with pride!

ps- i posted about the video clip...does this qualify for a Grammy and and oscar?

TentCamper said...

First of all - to Insane Mama...we need to talk. (F%$& Sawyr!)

I have to say that I don't agree with some of those TV and movie choices...Buffy??? Clueless?????

Come on I will respond, if requested, with the proper list of the best in TV and movies. Cuz I know best.

Kat said...

I think that I am going to have to get this issue of EW. It's interesting to see what is deemed a "new" classic.

I saw Prince in concert for his Purple Rain tour. I even have a purple tamborine that was thrown out to the audience. And I had no idea what "Darling Nicky" was about until he acted it out on stage...

Sydney said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I hope you enjoyed it, and that you'll stop by again soon! your blog is a blast.

Sissy said...

I read that issue and was excited about some of their choices, but I did expect them to wax a little longer on my beloved Friends, but they only wrote one sentence. There was more about the Rachel Haircut than the actual show!

Can't wait to here your commentary on the rest!

AFRo said...

Girl. I heart Sawyer. Seriously. Heart him.

CaraBee said...

Here's the thing. I loved Purple Rain. I saw it in the movie theaters like 8 times, which for a 10 year old shows incredible lack of control on my parents part. I owned the record, not tape, record, and I knew every word to every song. Having said all of that, I totally don't get it as #1.

Angela said...

Wow. You and my husband (fellow EW lover) would have lots of mutual media to talk about. I wonder what goes into ranking something like that? How is #84 different than #87?

Debbie said...

What no Brady Bunch or Partridge Family???

Debbie said...

Oh and how could I forget our love song???? Did it make the list? Did it? Did it?

Rhea said...

you're leaving us hanging! This is an annoying new trend...

Can't wait to read more!

leezee52 said...

Josh Holloway(Sawyer) was a model for perfume...he's cute.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0391326/

Tiffany said...

No Twilight. You have got to be kidding.

And, whats up with all this linky love for Heather? Geez. Just cause I can't stop running camp and chat for hours, I like don't even exist.

Whatever, Lula.

Kim said...

Oh come on now...You know Scott and I believe Andy Griffith deserves a special spot. I will agree with you about Designing Women! Another of my all time faves!

WheresMyAngels said...

No No, Sawyer is not hot. John Lock is my hottie, he may be older but there is just something about him! Mmmmmmmmm